his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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