I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
