you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
