You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
