Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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