The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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