This girl is more easily done than said...
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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