Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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