yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
