Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
