Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Randomize
