I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
