Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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