i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
