We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
