I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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