He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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