i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
