Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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