just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
