found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
