wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
