Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
