Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
