I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Randomize
