Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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