I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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