He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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