the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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