I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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