Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
