You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Come share oat with me in your robe
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
