matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
