i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
