You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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