I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
