She's JV to your varsity
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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