Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
