you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
