Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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