Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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