i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
send nudes
from the living room?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
