4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
