On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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