i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
