is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Green mimosas i think yes
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
