dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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