I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
