I think my vagina is haunted
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
