He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Randomize
